Steak Knife


My neighbor gave me a steak. I let it age a day or two until the cartilage broke down. Just before things go rotten they get tender. This is the case in many cases. My pepper grinder is stupid, so I cracked peppercorns by closing them in a brown paper bag. I put the bag on a cutting board. I banged the bag on the board with a the corner of a jelly jar. Then the peppercorns in the bag got all busted up. I slapped the salt and pepper on both cheeks of that red raw steak with two pats. I seared that steak in a cast iron pan with butter, rosemary, and smushed garlic. A spot of plain oil was in the pan to prevent the butter from burning, because butter is fun when it gets brown but sad when it burns. On side two of searing the steak I drizzled a little molasses, because I found it in the cupboard and thought: “Oh! I have molasses!” I ate the steak with a fork and steak knife. I pushed bites of steak into a pile of “Bonne Maman Four Fruit” jelly and new raspberries. Then I drank some seltzer because I have no wine. I ate a few leaves of wild greens – because I know I am supposed to eat greens, so I ate two leaves. For dessert I ate sweetened condensed milk from a plastic spoon. Then I looked at an ad for Sofia Vergara’s new KMart line for the Fall. I wondered if I should post something about single mothers being (as you have feared) more badass than partnered mothers. I decided against it and wrote about this steak instead.

~ by lhdwriter on August 29, 2013.

One Response to “Steak Knife”

  1. Lol. Cute. The steak looks good.

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